There isn't anything that love can't fix

I close my eyes and see yours
big, blue, and looking into mine
I lay my hand on your chest
the nest of curls so masculine
I feel them soft against my palm

You brush my hair off of my cheek
and tilt my face upwards
You speak to me
the richness of your voice
gliding over my ears

My heart swells
as your press your lips to mine
so soft and strong
You pull me close
and I drift off to sleep

I never meant to love you
or long to hear your voice
I never meant to miss you
My heart gives me no choice

I never meant to smile
when you said my name
I never meant to cry
when you didn't feel the same

I never meant to think of you
all during the day
I never meant to expect you
to treat me this way

I never meant to tell you
all of my wrongs
I never meant to let you
feel like you belong

I never meant to tell you
I loved you so
I never want to lose you
Yet I'm scared to let you know.

I never meant to love you
Never wanted to
I never wanted to hurt again
It seems I'm going to.

It's four in the morning and I can't sleep. I wrote this poem a while back and never posted it. I am guessing now is as good of a time as any. At the time I was having some issues with my relationship. This seemed to sum it all up for me. Things are going well for me. I can't sleep, obviously, but I usually have this problem, so nothing is new. I love the new Dirkes Bentley song, Come a little closer. I want to play that song.. light some candles... take a longgg bubble bath and snuggle naked under a blanket. This is what I think of when I hear this song.. so sue me.

Suicide Hotline... please hold

Crazy Mary.

The other morning I was doing my usual rushing of the children, trying to get them out of the house and into the car when something hilarious happend. I had told them both to go get into the car. I hear the front door slam and think ok they are going. I follow out behind them, locking the door behind me. I get out to the car and realise Mary is not in her seat. Where is Mary? Brenden shrugs and says that she is probably in the house. I walk back to the door only to hear Mary screaming bloody murder on the other side. The knob is spinning frantically as she is screaming at me. I tell her to unlock the door, but she is not hearing me. I unlock the door but start laughing. It was hilarous. She was so pissed at me for that. She screamed "YOU LEFT ME!!!! YOU LOCKED ME IN!!" I told her that she locked herself in and that I didn't leave her. She was so mad that when she got to school she slammed her car door. She did look back and wave to me though. I laughed all the way to school thinking about how she looked. It was great. My kids make me laugh so much. Brenden tries to scare me all the time and Mary is constantly doing some dork-girl thing that makes me laugh. They are wonderful and I couldn't imagine life without them. I was listening to my voicemail messages that they have both left me and it makes me realise how much they mean to me.

kickin' it old school

This morning I heard "Slam" by Onyx playing on a commercial. I had to smile. I haven't heard that song in forever. I've been hearing a bunch of older stuff on the radio (no I do not have my dial set on an oldies station either). I have developed a love/hate relationship with school and work. I love to learn and experience new things.. but jeez I hate it too. I am just ready to be finished. I am a bag of moans here lately. I've been thinking I need some cheese to go with my whine.

Back to work.. guhhh