You have got to be kidding me

Worst day in a LONG time. Supposed to be a fun day. I am so glad I do not have any alcohol at my house because if I did I would be turning it up tonight. I don't want to go to work tommorrow. I don't want to get out of bed tommorrow. I want to lie in bed all day long. I don't want to shower. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't even want to get up to pee. I just want to lay here, with the shades down and the tv off. I want the entire world to go away for one fucking day. How about that? Is that too much to ask? I try and try to deal with things with humor. I try as much as I can. I do it all the time. Today I can't. Today is the breaking point. No humor today. Thing is nothing happened directly to me that made it such a horrible day. Things I can't control. I am not a control freak, but Jesus... I just want to help people. I do the best I can and still.....

Fuck it. I am going to go to bed.

I know I won't be able to sleep.

At least I have the opportunity to sleep.

I need a vacation.

someplace warm
where the beer flows like wine....
a little place called.. Aspen. haha.

One day I will wake up and things will not bother me. I will not care. I will not hurt for people. I will not want to help people. I will not love people. I will not want to do the right thing. One day I will be able to walk away and say "that's enough, it's over" today is not that day. Tonight I am hurting. Tonight I want someone to care about me. To try and take the hurt away for me. Tonight I want someone to love me and do the right thing. Today is not that day. I sometimes wonder if today will ever be that fucking day.

Goodnight, Peace Out, Kiss my Ass, whatever suits your fancy.