Too much that Time can not erase

I'm so tired of being here. Suppressed by all my childish fears. If you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave, because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone. These wounds won't seem to heal. This pain is just too real. There's just too much that time can not erase.

But though you are still with me, I've been alone all alone.


I see you in my dreams. You are beautiful. Auburn hair, long, curling on the ends. In my dreams you are doing different things. Running, talking, laughing, playing, growing more and more each time we meet. You always know me, and try to come over to speak to me, but never get to me. Sometimes it's a field that you are running through but never seem to cover any ground. Others it's a crowded mall where you are continually consumed by a crowd of people. It's always a struggle that ends in defeat. The crowd thins and you are gone. The field becomes short grass and you are gone. It's a very disturbing dream that always leaves me awake and unable to sleep. I wish somewhere in the dream I would have calm reassurance but there is none. Only the frusturation of trying to move upstream against a current too strong.
Maybe one day I can move up stream, cross that field, or crowded mall and find you there. Maybe one day I will have that resolution, until then..... I will dream.

The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
I can't sleep, I need to tell you, Goodnight.
When we are together I feel purpose
When I'm called away from you I fall apart.
All you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue I can't look away


Wanna put my tender
heart in a blender