Bloggers Block

I have a problem. I have a million words flowing inside my head, begging to be written down. I can't write a single word. I write and save the draft, and write some more, but I never publish any of it. I don't feel like I can. I know my readers vary from strangers to loved ones, and any of these people could probably talk to me for five minutes and I would tell them how I felt, but for some reason I can't seem to write the words down. I guess maybe I don't want to curse myself, or to make something seem less than what it really is to me. I don't know. I'm stuck. I can't imagine writing for a job. I would be eating Ramen Noodles for the rest of my life. I used to dream of going to NYC and becomming a writer, living in a tiny apartment with a cat overlooking central park. I love the city, but I don't think I could live there now. Nowdays I dream of walking across a stage, earning my own way, finding a job I love and a man who loves me and my children. I dream of love and babies and hardwork and sleepless nights. I dream of being a wife again, having dinner every night as a family, and going to bed with my husband, falling asleep on his arm as we watch tv.

Not too much to ask. Just too much to ask for right now. I hope that my future holds all of these things, but I'm one of those people who tend to expect the worst.