Medicine Theory

Ok, first of all I have to apologize if this blog doesn't make sense, it is way too late and I'm exhausted, but I feel compelled to prop my eyeballs open and write this out. I have been talking to a young man, yes young, (thank me later Chris) about people and the crazy things we do to each other. He is an aspiring author trying to find his niche; I believe he will find it, although I think he's struggling right now. Ok, back to my original thought process, if there is such a thing with me tonight, I reviewed my medicine theory tonight. For those of you who don't know the medicine theory here goes.

*sigh*
The medicine theory is that people use other people for medicine when getting over a relationship and or any other trauma in their lives. A person will grasp onto someone who makes them feel whole, a little less lonely, and can spend time with them. The lock themselves into this person and use them as medicine while they are healing themselves off of their previous relationship. Once they have healed from the pain all too often they realise the person they are with, their "medicine" is just that and nothing more. They realise that they don't have much in common with them and are not as in drop dead love as what they once though. Hence, they are healed and ready to move on. I know way too many people who have married their medicine only to wish that they hadn't (certain nurses at my work included) :).

Lesson:
Don't marry your medicine. Medicine is fine to a certain extent. Don't use people, don't play with their emotions. You wouldn't want yours played with.

A co-worker told me today that she thought I wouldn't have any problem getting a man, that I was a "hottie". A laughable term, because first and foremost I DO NOT consider myself any way shape or form hottielike. While there are times when I would love a good roll in the hay with no strings attached that's not my ultimate goal. The end product I want is someone who won't mind it when I get old and get a granny gut and make cobblers and want to drink tea out on the back porch with the kids. I want someone who won't mind when I'm six months pregnant puking up my guts all over my dinner plate. I want someone I can still laugh, fight, debate, and argue with until I'm blue in the freakin face and still go to bed and snuggle with them an hour later. I don't want medicine. I won't settle for medicine.

I forget what I wanted to say, it's late and I'm tired, so.. sue me.

Have you ever felt really connected with someone, even though you haven't known them for very long? I'm not talking about sexual stuff, although that's always nice. I'm talking about basic likes, dislikes, things you say, do, stuff like that connected. That is really a rare thing nowdays, at least for me. I found myself sharing some intimate details the other day with a person before I even thought about it. It was like I was talking to someone I had known forever and trusted with the knowledge of possibly embarrassing information. I thought about if afterwards and realised I had told these things because I felt a connection and wanted this person to know who I was, without reservation. Thinking back, how many people can you honestly say you share that with?